Sweet five month old Nora, sleeping in bed with me.
One night, when Drew was about three months old, I pulled him into bed to nurse. We continued that sleeping arrangement until he was about 20 months old. When he started sleeping with us it was not because of any decision to raise him one way or another, it was just easier. Of course now I know that co sleeping and nursing on demand are two definers of what it means to be an Attached Parent. At one point I found myself involved with web groups on the subject. I needed the support then but found some to be way too dogmatic when it came to AP parenting.
I've really never liked to label my lifestyle choices and usually seem to fall somewhere in the middle.
One of the hardest parts of AP parenting is lack of sleep. Night nursers don't sleep through the night, rather they wake up and nurse every two to four hours on average. This relationship is wonderful. With both children a night rhythm was established. I would often wake up right before they did, ready to snuggle with them and spend a few sweet waking minutes together. Of course, all good things must come to an end.
As these attached babies turn in to toddlers, they begin to nurse more frequently. Or perhaps mom and dad just get more tired after at least a year of waking. Whatever the reasons, it is good to recognize when it is time to change the routine for the sake of the entire family. At some point it is time to sleep.
Obviously, this is where we were with Nora. Honestly, she has been ready for this new sleep plan for a few months. But this is a partnership, and all involved needed to be on board. Thanks to lots of support from Val, Jen and Shael, I was finally ready to take the plunge Friday night. The dreaded Cry It Out. Perhaps I read way too much in the beginning, CIO was dogged as a practice all over the AP internet. I must say I did find an encouraging plan on Dr. Jay Gordon's web sight.
Turns out it is not so scary, and at last we reach the point of this story. Nora has cried it out for three nights in a row and it is WORKING! My little sleeper was a quick study and while I read next to her crib she screamed at me. The first night she cried for forty minutes then dropped to her pillow snoring away. Then only about only about five the next two!! We are slowly taking away night nursing sessions and again, she is adapting so well. Instead of nursing I hug her over the crib rails, rubbing her back and reassuring her that she is a big girl and is doing great! This morning she woke up cheerful and we had a delightful chat about my bed and her bed.(I have moved into her room temporarily.)
This feels like a milestone in our mother/daughter relationship. She needed the push to learn that she can sleep with out me and I needed to buck up and accept that she can sleep with out me. Just another stop on the long journey of letting go.
I'm so proud of her. Goodnight.
